Boxed in and Overdrawn Out

What a day. This morning the kiddos and I set out for a day of shopping at our favorite box store and our least favorite box store. I won't use any names here, let's see if you can guess. The favorite: wide aisles, designer names, flattering lighting, nifty television advertisements that make shopping there seem fun and, even, hip. The least favorite: Horrible lighting, dirty carts, aisles overcrowded with bargains, eating up America, I've never been there when I haven't seen some awful aspect of humanity (today it was the a text book mullet, which wasn't really so bad when you consider all the truly awful things out there). Actually, I was probably that awful aspect of humanity to some other woman. I saw her look away from us, but first I saw the disdain in her eyes. She had one sweet baby and was having one of those blissful moments of new mother happiness with her one sweet baby, about 9 months old, I'd guess, sitting calmly in his seat on top of the cart. She is proud of how big he is, he can sit up now! They accepted a free sample of the blue fizz yogurt just after we did (WTF? Blue fizz yogurt?!) I was desperate for a diversion! So I got blue fizz yogurt samples, pushed them at my antsy, straining children, and moved on, somewhat frenetically, trying to focus on shopping and getting out of there. No such luck, as I heard the other Mom cooing at her baby who was enjoying his first sample out with mom, my oldest sounded like this, "I want more blue yogurt, please! I want more blue yogurt, please! MY SPOON! MMMYYYYY SPPPooooooooonnnnnn!!! Wahhhhh ahhhh Wahhhhhh! I dropped my spoon!!!" I would have leapt into action to save his spoon sooner but I was distracted by my youngest, I sounded like this, "Sit down, please. Sit down. Sit down, now! Please sit down. Sit down. Mommy would like you to please sit down in the cart. You must sit down. Standing is NOT an OPTION." She sounded like this, "NNNOooooo! NoNoNooooOO! No. No. NOOO! NOOOO!" I was frazzled. We rolled back around (with those gigantic two seater carts, it is more like a fancy K turn, other shoppers literally need to move out of the way) for another spoon from the Sample Lady, and that's when I saw the brief look of disdain. For a moment I was a deer in the headlights, caught in my own memory of giving some other struggling mom the same look back when I was the mother of one sweet baby, and not two very wonderful and beautiful and active and strong-willed toddlers. So we get the new spoon and Sample Lady says, "Here, you need these," as she thrust a handful of napkins at us. I hadn't noticed their dirty faces but sure enough they were blue and slimy and beneath the blue slime was most likely dried ketchup and chocolate milk from lunch at Fat Boys. I was in survivor mode - it started back at Fat Boys, but that's another story. There are no dirty faces in survivor mode.

Anyway, the point of this little rant is that I detest the big box stores and yet I go there. I feel dirty and ashamed. But, 10 lbs of King Arthur Flour for $4.66! 3 paint rollers for under $3! Everything is cheaper there! And they are the only ones with our particular brand of vacuum cleaner bags, so I have to go there, right? The worst thing about those box stores, even the one that I really like, is that I end up buying a ton of stuff I don't need and spending more money by virtue of going there than if I'd just gone to a shop here in town in the first place. Or rather, the next town, since our town is only good for antique shopping and being quaint. Which we love, but maybe isn't always so practical.

That is it. The time for change is upon us! Not only for me, but for all people out there, hoping to save a buck or two. This is very bold. I am about to make a statement. A VERY BOLD STATEMENT. I hereby declare to not shop in a big box store again (unless it is a home improvement store - baby steps, OK?). I vow to buy my vacuum cleaner bags from another source. My King Arthur Flour at the grocery store (for $2 more a bag!). And I bet I will save money in the long run. I have a friend who recently tested a similar theory by only shopping at the local healthy/all natural/organic food store for a whole month opposed to the more mainstream grocery store. The healthy store is way more expensive, but she actually shopped smarter and saved money over the course of a month. But that is just a deeper level of extremism than what I am proposing.

I challenge you to get out of the box too! Everybody claims to hate that big store with its blue fizzy yogurt samples, but it is always mobbed when I go there. Everybody should put their dirty secret behind them. I declare Summer '08 to be the year we all get out of the box!